Resolutions

I don't like resolutions. I only feel like a giant failure when I screw them up. So I'm not going to commit to anything this year. Except myself maybe. I resolve to consider what I'm doing, when I'm doing it. To think through decisions, and perhaps that will help me make better ones. I feel like today is my last hurrah. I have been eating ALL THE THINGS this holiday season and I stopped running on the treadmill in November. I needed a break, so I took one. And I let myself off the hook for all of it. The not running, the eating all the things, the pie, the cookies, all the foods. But I'm always right back here when it's almost over. I'm a bit sorry for that break. I don't feel the best, I know I don't look the best and I'm ready to get it back. I hope getting back physically gets me back mentally. I guess we'll find out.

So...to copy everyone else, who copies Linda...

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
A day trip by motorcycle. Does that even count? It's not like its fancy or anything. But I hadn't done it before, and I'm looking forward to it again.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make resolutions - see above. If I had, it's highly unlikely I'd have kept them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! My sister in law had a beautiful baby girl the day before my birthday. She's fantastic. We met her in person over Christmas and she's a great baby.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I think we're waiting to leave the country again for another 5 years or so, when the girls are old enough to self-care, but can stay with the grandparents.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Money? Who doesn't want more money. I'm not saying we had none, or wanted for anything, but I'd just like my financial plans to work out as planned for once.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Probably this holiday season, we met the new baby, and my youngest lost her first two teeth. It feels so early for her, but she's only 5, she's still in preschool. The in-laws moved to town in November also, which is pretty freaking awesome.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I have no achievements, I'm feeling very mediocre about this year.

9. What was your biggest failure?
An incident at a water park. No big deal, but it gives me nightmares. And I generally didn't excel at anything, which feels like failure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes I guess so. My left knee now requires a stupid brace so I can use the treadmill or run in a 5k. I also somehow pulled something in my upper left back that refuses to heal. I feel 85% certain its a deep muscle pull, but you'd think after 2 months it'd be at least a little better. Maybe it is, either that or I'm just used to it now.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My bedroom furniture..with the new motorcycle taking a close 2nd. I also sort of got into an organizational groove this year, so I bought a lot of things to help organize the house and all our crap - which is pretty awesome.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage (4 years to go), Video games, Motorcycles

13. What did you get really excited about?
My bedroom furniture. I'm a real grown up now.

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Hmmm, this is a good question. I guess maybe The Band Perry's "If I Die Young" maybe. I feel like there was a lot of songs I liked this year, just can't pinpoint.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? The same I think. I fluctuate, but I'm generally happy.
– thinner or fatter? Definitely fatter.
– richer or poorer? About the same I think.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Not sweating the little stuff, or not sweating that I get very little help with it without specifically asking which defeats the purpose of getting help...gah. Nevermind.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being so impatient with the kids. Sometimes I reach that point of OMG I CANNOT TAKE THIS way too fast.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve was madness, spent with the in-laws and a troupe of in-law invaders. Christmas day we woke up at home, in our own beds, had a great morning with gifts and breakfast. Then we headed over to my dad's for more gifts and easy food and a relaxing afternoon.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
This is tough. I like so many. Grey's Anatomy? No wait, maybe Rizzoli & Isles. No wait - The Voice. Definitely The Voice. I love that show.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
No favorites, but I did read quite a few. I also sorted out our bookshelves, donated a bunch and I have a pile I need to read so I can just donate them as well.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Isn't this a duplicate question? I enjoyed The Band Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Blake Shelton, and a bunch of other stuff. I listen to XM Radio in the car, and CDs I own at home..so I don't get much new music.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Twilight Breaking Dawn part 1 - does that count. I don't think I have a favorite otherwise. I'm waiting for RedBox to watch the 2nd part. EDITED: I'm a liar. Pitch Perfect was my favorite movie of the year. I loved that movie, and I think I need to get the soundtrack too!

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We waited for pictures and a name announcement for my new niece. She was born the day before. I turned 36.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Magically winning the lottery without playing, losing weight when I ate pie and didn't exercise. This question is stupid.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Try not to look like a frumpy mom. Try to choose trendy outfits that work on my body. I may or may not have succeeded.

26. What kept you sane?
Video games and wine. We discovered a new winery thanks to some friends and have finally found a sweet red wine we can put away like grown ups. And video games like Gears of War 3 and Black Ops 2 let me get my aggression out in a healthy way. It's healthy. shhhh.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012

I doubt I learned anything. I already know I eat to mask my emotions. I already know I don't say what I should say when I should say it. I already know I let things fester. I already know what I should probably be doing about my weight/fitness/health. I'll get to it I guess.

Having answered those..I don't know how I feel about this whole thing. I intend to exercise again. Starting tomorrow. I intend to make better food choices. Starting tomorrow. I CAN do this. I WILL. I don't need some official resolution to do so and I'd rather not feel like a loser if I fall behind in my goals.