Motherhood: Pick and Choose

I always find it fun to watch new parents. I know I WAS new at one point, but that doesn't make it any less fun to watch them flail and guess. I try not to offer unsolicited advice or to giggle right in front of them as they hilariously try to reason with their infants. It's fun to watch, the learning curve.  But as I thought awhile about motherhood and how it morphs as the kids grow...I realized it's probably still kind of fun to watch me try to parent.

I find there are a lot of things I didn't really know I was signing up for when we made these babies. I wanted cute babies, baby showers, gifts and pampering. It turns out I am not a fan of pregnancy, but I can tolerate it for the gifts and resulting adorable baby.

I did not sign up for children that don't just eat what they're given. I did not sign up to sit at a table with a child that finds out that POT ROAST is for dinner and oh the humanity - cries at the dinner table.

Wouldn't it be nice to pick and choose exactly how motherhood goes? Here is my list. And I'm not interested in comments about how I should be happy with my children, happy I don't have to deal with X or cope with Y. I KNOW. I am extremely blessed with my girls. They are wonderful, obedient (mostly), caring, fun children and I wouldn't trade them. But..if I'm making the list anyway, I might as well shoot high.

The obvious ones...I want them to be
happy (check)
considerate (mostly?)

eats everything
tries everything
brave but smart (perhaps 50/50 here)
smart (check)
beautiful  (check)
excellent sleepers (check)

I don't want...
whiners (oy the whining)
criers (crying on a dime makes me smashy)
afraid of simple things
to give the reproductive/sex talk

I think what I want are cute babies..that morph into super cute toddlers and then into preschoolers and school kids that aren't smarter than me just yet. Then I think I'd like to skip the teenage years because there is so much responsibility with teenagers. For me and for them. Those are the years I have to teach them and try to mold them..without them knowing...into responsible almost adults. It's frightening. I don't ever want to have a birds and bees talk with any child, but I know I'm a few short months from being forced to explain some of the basics to my oldest. I. don't. want. to. She's young, and innocent, and she's anxious and it will set her on edge, I'm sure of it. I want her to have the information and be smart and make good choices (abstinence) but I don't want to have to TELL HER about it :)  (I will of course).

It also turns out I don't want my kids to have friends. No no..I want them to have friends..at school, at church, but not in the neighborhood. I don't want to have to keep an eye on what they're doing or wonder what mine are doing at others' houses. I don't want to have to watch out for the bad seeds that try to take advantage. I don't like it, I'm incredibly uncomfortable with it. I can't control those parts and so I'd rather they just didn't exist. I do not get this wish obviously, my oldest is super friendly and has a lot of friends everywhere she goes - which is probably just payback for this irrational wish of mine. She's a great kid, of course she has friends. 

Oh well. We cannot pick a choose. We couldn't choose our own parents, so our kids cannot choose theirs. We do the best with what we have and what we're given, and with God's help, they turn out to be sane adults. I'm not worried about my children. I will work hard to raise them right with the help of my family and friends, but I sometimes wish I could just pause and remove some of the hard parts.

Ah motherhood

Parenting brings a lot of unexpected...happenings? consequences? ...STUFF.

I spent last night on the couch, catching the toddler's vomit every few hours. I have decided she's lactose intolerant. Maybe not 100% intolerant, but she definitely has a threshold. The nachos for dinner was not a good idea, the last time she had nachos, she also threw up, but I blamed a cold instead. She does have a cold now as well but I still think there's a lactose issue. So, no nachos and we'll lay off the dairy and milk products as much as possible. What do you feed a kid that only eats chicken nuggets and spaghetti and shredded cheddar cheese, when you have to cut out the cheese?

The strangest part about last night was that I could hear her start to throw up almost a half second before she realized that's what was happening. So I would FLY out of my spot, over to her end, pull her up and over the towel I set up to catch each episode. She doesn't do toilet or bucket puke yet, in time, in time. It's almost like the body has its own kid emergency receptors and I just flew into action almost involuntarily. I flew, its really the fastest I can move I think, if I could run a 5k as fast as I run to catch puke...well, I'd be winning some things.

Tonight is going to be a repeat of last night, I'd bet cash on it. While I was on the teadmill tonight she threw up her spaghetti dinner. I knew she would, her head is all congested and she can't breathe very well. Poor punkin. If I could just take it from her, I would. But the best I can do is cuddle her and let her sleep on the couch with me, so I can more easily catch the puke..and then let her rest and watch tv tomorrow while she recovers. Preschool has been one stupid cold after the other. I feel very very blessed not to have had to take her to the doctor much because of it. Last year we ended up in the hospital with dehydration..and preschool wasn't even involved. So..she's building an immunity. Right? RIGHT?!