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Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Friday, June 5, 2015

Last day of school

Truly I am the worst blogger. I haven't posted here since November. November! It's not even like I don' t have things to say or share. I just don't have time to get them into writing. Today is the last day of school. It's not even a day really, they get out four hours early, so it's more like 2.5 hours of school - enough time to collect school supplies, have a small party with the class and get back on the bus. Kid#1 will be home in an hour, #2 an hour after that. I took the afternoon off, so we can maybe go out to a celebratory lunch or something. I am now in possession of a second grader and a seventh grader. They have really got to slow down already.

This one left at 710am as a 6th grader.

This one left at 810 as a 1st grader.

And now to figure out chore charts and a summer plan so we don't all go insane.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Motherhood: Pick and Choose

I always find it fun to watch new parents. I know I WAS new at one point, but that doesn't make it any less fun to watch them flail and guess. I try not to offer unsolicited advice or to giggle right in front of them as they hilariously try to reason with their infants. It's fun to watch, the learning curve.  But as I thought awhile about motherhood and how it morphs as the kids grow...I realized it's probably still kind of fun to watch me try to parent.

I find there are a lot of things I didn't really know I was signing up for when we made these babies. I wanted cute babies, baby showers, gifts and pampering. It turns out I am not a fan of pregnancy, but I can tolerate it for the gifts and resulting adorable baby.

I did not sign up for children that don't just eat what they're given. I did not sign up to sit at a table with a child that finds out that POT ROAST is for dinner and oh the humanity - cries at the dinner table.

Wouldn't it be nice to pick and choose exactly how motherhood goes? Here is my list. And I'm not interested in comments about how I should be happy with my children, happy I don't have to deal with X or cope with Y. I KNOW. I am extremely blessed with my girls. They are wonderful, obedient (mostly), caring, fun children and I wouldn't trade them. But..if I'm making the list anyway, I might as well shoot high.

The obvious ones...I want them to be
happy (check)
considerate (mostly?)

eats everything
tries everything
brave but smart (perhaps 50/50 here)
smart (check)
beautiful  (check)
excellent sleepers (check)

I don't want...
whiners (oy the whining)
criers (crying on a dime makes me smashy)
afraid of simple things
to give the reproductive/sex talk

I think what I want are cute babies..that morph into super cute toddlers and then into preschoolers and school kids that aren't smarter than me just yet. Then I think I'd like to skip the teenage years because there is so much responsibility with teenagers. For me and for them. Those are the years I have to teach them and try to mold them..without them knowing...into responsible almost adults. It's frightening. I don't ever want to have a birds and bees talk with any child, but I know I'm a few short months from being forced to explain some of the basics to my oldest. I. don't. want. to. She's young, and innocent, and she's anxious and it will set her on edge, I'm sure of it. I want her to have the information and be smart and make good choices (abstinence) but I don't want to have to TELL HER about it :)  (I will of course).

It also turns out I don't want my kids to have friends. No no..I want them to have friends..at school, at church, but not in the neighborhood. I don't want to have to keep an eye on what they're doing or wonder what mine are doing at others' houses. I don't want to have to watch out for the bad seeds that try to take advantage. I don't like it, I'm incredibly uncomfortable with it. I can't control those parts and so I'd rather they just didn't exist. I do not get this wish obviously, my oldest is super friendly and has a lot of friends everywhere she goes - which is probably just payback for this irrational wish of mine. She's a great kid, of course she has friends. 

Oh well. We cannot pick a choose. We couldn't choose our own parents, so our kids cannot choose theirs. We do the best with what we have and what we're given, and with God's help, they turn out to be sane adults. I'm not worried about my children. I will work hard to raise them right with the help of my family and friends, but I sometimes wish I could just pause and remove some of the hard parts.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

5 Things I Didn’t Expect About Parenthood

Today's post over at Mom of 6 is about the unexpected parts of parenthood. So..here's my list.

5 Things I Didn’t Expect About Parenthood
  1. I didn't expect my entire body to be so in tune to my children. If they wake in the night (even now at ages 4 and 9) I am fully aware of it immediately. My body comes alive with the awareness, which is both amazing and kinda frustrating if they don't actually need me. Then I'm awake for nothing.
  2. I never expected to say "Please do not LICK the Target cart". Watching my daughter (5 then) run her tongue along the top edge of the Target cart from side to side was unbelievable. I couldn't believe she was doing it, I couldn't believe I had to tell her NOT to do it. I was stunned for a bit on that trip.
  3. I never expected to be annoyed with them. I knew I was annoyed with other people's children, but I assumed that was because they weren't my own beautiful offspring. Turns out, kids are just kind of annoying sometimes. You power through. 
  4. I am really really unprepared (and unwilling?) to teach them about things like monthly cycles (we have two girls) and sex and boys and body changes. I am about to prepare myself and inform my daughter about some things (she'll be 10 in November) but I am not looking forward to it.  I'm surprised by how much I do NOT want them to drive, or to date, or to go anywhere ever. I'm also surprised by my distrust of their friends, no matter how nice and friendly they actually are. I'm in overprotective mother bear mode all the time apparently.
  5. I am also surprised that while #4 is true...I am really really looking forward to next year, when the 4yo goes to Kindergarten and I will be home alone all day. I work from home and the concentration it takes to be productive while managing a child or two is exhausting. I look forward to accomplishing much without fetching eleventy billion cups of juice throughout the day.
The other topic could have been 5 Things I would buy for myself right NOW online if I had the money and I really really kind of wanted to do that too, so....
  1. curtains for the girls rooms, to block the heat and light - http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Eclipse-63-inch-Twill-Curtain-Panel-Pair/5550268/product.html
  2. a curio cabinet to hold my dad's china..which was my grandma's china -stacksandstacks.com
  3. some custom motorcycle seats for the husband and myself and maybe a windshield as well
  4. a tummy tuck? In theory I'd really love one, but in reality its too expensive and risky 
  5. does paying bills count? I'd like to pay off what we owe on the new furniture, the motorcycle and have enough left to get ahead on the house maybe. 
That list of things I'd buy is a little bit lame. I need to work on my want list. I'm a little to practical to make this list I guess.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Screaming

I took Tuesday off. I had scheduled the girls' physicals for that afternoon so I went ahead and scheduled the dogs vet/shot visit as well. I was pretty proud of myself, both for remembering to schedule all of it, as well as for remembering to do it in advance enough that I wasn't stuck with a walk in clinic or rush job. So..here's a run down of the day. Don't worry, we'll get to The Screaming.

8am Wake up the girls, get everyone rolling

9am drop the 9yo off at Vacation Bible School

10am take the dogs (4yo with me) to the vet, exam, shots, lucy has a yeast infection in her ear.

11am $350 later- GAH! - leave the vet and head over to pickup the 9yo

Home for lunch and a short visit with the hubs who is also home for lunch

1pm head out to Target to pick up new bedside lamp for 9yo, she's still using the lamp from her nursery. Too short and too dim. and Filthy, Jeeeez do I clean ever. (no).

1:30 head to ToysRUs for a hula hoop detour

2:00 head to Hancock Fabrics for some beading to embellish the lamp, it's a plain white lamp because the most important thing is that she be able to SEE and READ by this lamp, not that its soooo cute and sooo soft and oooo look at the beads. No. $18 later, beads aquired..I really need to check the prices of things more closely before I'm at the pay line.

2:30 head downtown to the doctor office for the physicals

So the girls look at the fish while I check us in. The nurse comes out, ready to test their vision, get height, weight, etc. The girls do great, but the 9yo is starting to get weepy. She knows the appointment has begun and she's been anxious about the potential for a shot since I mentioned the appointment - a month ago. So we go to the exam room, 4yo starts first, temp and blood pressure with the nurse..then 9yo. Then the doctor (ARNP) comes in and we talk about each kid, takes at least 25 minutes to get all the questions answered and discover that 9yo gets one HepA shot and 4yo is due for 4 shots. Ok..doctor is going to send in it the super fast nurse. Great.

9yo is going first to get it over with. She comes in, we're prepped and she asks "arm or leg?" The 9yo's panic is so great, she can't decide, because her answer would be NOWHERE. So I said leg and just do it. The 9yo then SCREAMS. Glass shattering scream. Twice. Directly into my ear and the nurse's ear. The 4yo is now also freaked out because what the wha why did she scream. I did not anticipate that level of panic and screaming. So I sort of got the giggles after that, because I have tried to distract her, to promise her that it's ok that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her, that these shots keep her healthy. She is unconvinced and her anxiety is so high, she cannot fathom what's about to happen. She admits now that the shot wasn't quite that bad.

Next up I put the 4yo on the table, she's due for 4 shots, so while the nurse is really really fast, it's a lot. I watch her face as I'm sort of holding her down, so I see the shock and pain cross her face with each poke. She is not at all please, but she does not scream. She yells a little and cries but I can still hear. She limps around all afternoon because her legs are "injured" she says. I agree, she's probably in some pain. Wed. morning we wake up, take the 9yo to Vacation Bible School again, come home to get lunch. 4yo has Cocoa Puffs and orange juice..and then pukes all over the table and floor. Apparently a side effect of DTaP vaccine is fussiness (check!), tiredness (check!), and vomiting (check!). She is limping seriously now also, and I have to carry her to the couch to rest and watch tv.

So, that day sort of started out well, but took a nasty dive. Things are  much better today, although the 9yo thought she was going to puke today, the 4yo is much better and hopefully I'll be even smarter next time and NOT tell them when I've scheduled the appointment and maybe also NOT schedule them at the same time/day. (Updated: Also stagger the dog appointments so they don't take ALL my money every time we go there, and perhaps we don't need a $44 exam AND $23 poop test - that's PER DOG - every year).


Lamp turned out really cute though, huh.

Monday, June 11, 2012

A sensitive girl

I am raising a very sensitive and anxious girl. I didn't quite realize it until recently.  I was so proud of myself this year, for scheduling a physical for both girls. Typically it takes some sort of miracle to get into the pediatrician for a physical appointment. They take those specially, you can't just sneak it into a regular visit, and if you don't call as soon as possible, you won't get in. It's super stupid. But this year, before school was out, I called and scheduled them both for a physical. The 4yo needs one for preschool. The 9yo just hasn't had a physical in awhile, so if we're going, they might as well both go.

So I told them about the appointments a month ago. I told them it was in June.  At first it was no big deal, but when school let out, the 9yo started having trouble sleeping. She would go to bed, and read her book for awhile, and then she'd call me in to tell me her stomach was 'jumping' and her legs hurt (growing pains sort of). This went on for a week. Somewhere in there I think she'd talked herself into thinking she was going to throw up. I asked her once what was going on and she said she might be nervous about the doctor appointment coming up. I was surprised to hear that, told her it'll be fine, not to worry about it. The real point though, is that awhile before that she asked if she was going to have to get a shot. I don't like to lie to them outright (except for their own good of course, Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy...whatever). So I said I didn't know - because I don't. I think she IS due for a booster of some sort, but I don't know for sure. But I said it'd be no problem, quick and easy, no worries.  So a few nights ago she was at it again. My tummy is getting jumpy, she says.  So I massaged her legs and said you have to tell me what's going on. Right now. Tell me.

I'm really nervous about the doctor appointment you said was coming up later in June. Oy. I talked her down, talked her through it, asked her what happens if you get a shot...its over..and then what...nothing. It's no problem. Also, she's been asking about getting her ears pierced, and a shot is a good way to get a feel for that. She's not convinced still, but she has stopped letting the anxiety get the better of her.

Whew. I'm going to have to watch out for that. Both for what I say about things that make her nervous and about reassuring her when the anxiety is unavoidable. This isn't a trait she gets from me, but I think I can help her manage it. And hopefully she'll grow more confident and less anxious as time goes by and life goes on. She is my sweet, sensitive, anxious almost TEN year old first baby girl.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

What is wrong with...

Ok. So the 9yo came down after her shower tonight and asked me if there's really a boy that goes around on Friday the 13th killing people. I was...surprised. I said no, it's just a movie, don't worry about it, it's not real. She says a girl in her class saw the movie and told her about it. She's pretty concerned about it, but I think I convinced her to go to sleep and think about other things. I can only hope she won't wake up freaked out about what her classmate said.

What parent lets their 8/9yo watch Friday the 13th!? I have never seen it, because I know what kind of movie it is and I don't want to see that. I'm not a fan of horror movies and I doubt my kids will be either. They frighten easily. But ok, it's not my business what you let your kids watch..but is it too much to ask that you counsel your child NOT to scare the other kids at school, maybe you say this was a special thing, watching this movie, and something we don't need to talk about with everyone else. I know that's asking a lot of a child, to keep something to themselves, but it can be done.

Am I wrong? Are 8/9 year olds watching these movies now? Am I delusional thinking parents can do better?  I don't believe in telling anyone how to parent, because we all have our own methods and our children are all different and respond in different ways to different things...but come on. Is it not a generally good idea not to let young children watch horror movies? Hmmph. I'm not pleased.