Not a wordsmith

I am not a wordsmith. I am the opposite of a wordsmith, whatever that is. I am terrible with words. Written, Spoken, Implied. I tell ridiculous stories that make no sense. I say what I believe people or animals/pets are thinking without being clear that's what I'm doing, thoroughly confusing everyone around me. Working at home, I tend to ramble when I get face time with other adults, as though it's my last hope of having a real conversation.  And yet, I still want to write something. Something interesting that other people might read. A story, a true story, or a mixed true/embellished story. Something based on things I know about (kids? web design? crazy parents and siblings? insane drivers?)...or maybe something completely made up.  I dunno. I think I need to start bringing paper to bed with me, because when I turn off the TV my mind doesn't stop. It keeps going for quite a long time. So..I'm going to just list some things I think about..before I sleep. When I wish I would get up and write them down, but I'm too lazy and afraid of failure to do it.

- I should write a book titled "Why Children Lick the Cart. A guide for parents when kids make them say wha???"  And explain, in my completely unprofessional, totally uneducated opinion why kids do some of the things they do, how to deal with it and mostly just get all the crazy shit they do out on paper. Its mind blowing to me that I may have done some of these same idiotic things as a child as well. How can that be?

- I should start a life coaching company. There are a lot of morons that could benefit from my no nonsense, Dr. Phil without the psychology degree common sense advice. For a small fee, I could tell you NOT to buy a car with a credit card. Also, sign up for a 401k ASAP if you can. SAVE NOW. Things like that. Things that don't occur to the common sensically challenged. The biggest problem with this idea is that I'd be inclined to tell people they ARE IDIOTS and WTF why aren't you listening to me, OMG. And then, I'm probably out of business. I have no patience for idiots. Or maybe I just write a book 'I am your Life Coach and you WILL listen to me' instead, so people can buy it and just put it down if I piss them off.

-Now I'm angry with myself for not getting up last night and writing more of this down, because I've forgotten some of it and now i'll have to wait to document more of it.