Random thoughts

So far blogging every day hasn't been so bad. Other than the day a migraine tried to thwart me, it's going pretty well. I'm not even using all the pre-started posts I've got yet. Today is nothing special so my plan is to ramble until I'm done rambling.

Random thing I love: our pop can box from the Can Shed. We used to save up all our empty pop cans and take them to the store to return and get our deposit when we could no longer get past the boxes of cans in the garage. Typically about $12 worth. Over spring break this year the husband decided we should just get this box from the can shed. It's like the ones you see at the grocery store, fill it up, return it for $$ and get a new empty one. Genius. I'm not kidding, it's genius, we love tossing our cans in it so much we may be drinking more just so we can. It's so much better than hoarding all those 12-packs and hauling them back.

My headache: I'm headache free at the moment,I've taken 9 ibuprofen a day the last couple days. Today, none so far. I'm staying away from video games for a little bit, a week or so, and I'm trying hard not to stay up so late that I don't get a decent amount of sleep. I had trouble this morning sleeping past 8 after going to sleep at 11:30. But I did get up and get my running time in before anyone was up, which was really nice, since I take Sunday off from running, I'm done for the weekend.

I think maybe this headache thing was a combination of late nights with video games ( looking at you gears of war 3 horde), an attempt from a migraine to eat my brain and trying to keep track of all the weddings, shows and school things coming up. So hopefully, this restful week will help and I can play my new Lego Harry Potter game soon.

 We've got four wedding invites this spring/summer. Two are on the same day so we have to choose and there are showers for all of them of course. I've squared away one gift, mailed it today because I can't make the shower. I wrapped up another gift for a shower next weekend and I'm throwing my sister in law a baby shower at the end of the month so I'm workin' on making sure all those details are worked out.

Sophie also has her school musical and school spring pictures next week as well as some MAP testing I need to make sure she gets enough rest for. I'm sure it'll super storm the night before. Today I finished grabbing a few things for Easter baskets, although I could kick myself for not picking up the new baskets I saw at the dollar store earlier this week. They're long gone today of course. Since grandma and grandpa already brought them a bunch of candy I went with dry erase boards for their bedroom doors, foam sticky things for them to decorate those with, two candy items only, dry erase markers, and little notebooks, and two pair of Easter socks for each of them. Next year I'll get new baskets...or maybe just one if the oldest figures out the sham this bunny laying egg hiding thing is. Please let her figure that out....

Update:  Sorry about no picture of the genius can box and the no paragraph breaks prior to now. Apparently posting from the iPad means no breaks.

Deal? Deal!

So a few nights ago, we tucked the girls in bed at regular time. I grabbed my workout stuff so I could head to the treadmill. We came down to the kitchen and found this on the fridge.

This is from the 9yo 3rd grader. She's getting up in years and has become smart, talkative, and resistant to trickery and tom-foolery. Usually each summer I make a chore chart, one for each kid. It contains things they should do on their own, but don't, and a few things they should do because I want them to and because they I want them to be responsible adults, right? Making your bed, brushing your own hair and teeth, it's not asking to much. It is not. Don't argue with me. I believe this is the 9yo's way of saying she disagrees.

READ THIS!
I made my own chore chart. If I do them all, I get two dollars. If I do some, I get one. If I don't do any, I get zero. So, Deal?

P.S. I'm starting the chores next week, cause it's in the midle of this week already. Deal? Deal!

Clearly she believes we've struck a deal. I couldn't even see the chores she'd selected for herself, they're so small on her chart. And her use of this notebook paper makes me feel like it's pretty unlikely she'll duplicate the process next week. Part of me is inclined to let her try this, or maybe I should have her help me make her chart in a more repeatable format. Of course, my printer doesn't work right now...so...she may be on to something.

The other part of this is how funny she is. She's not trying to be funny, she's serious most of the time if its not an obvious playtime activity. She knows chore chart time is coming (summer) and she's trying to head it off with easier chores like make bed, brush hair, brush teeth, nice to sis, kind to dogs, help family. I think it might be time to add in some slightly more difficult tasks. Empty and reload dishwasher, wash windows. I love that she's left off 'clean room'. She's hilarious and smart and beautiful and I wish she's stop growing up already. I'm not ready for ten...or twelve...or...or...teenager years.

Half assed

Sorry, I'm not feeling that well at the moment so this post is a litt half-assed. Today started out awesome. I took the day off so I could go to a tailor with a couple dresses. Took the kid to preschool first, so after the tailor I got stuff done at target and the dollar store. Picked up the kid and went to get a couple bridal shower gifts across town. Came home, had lunch, fixed a work thing....and got a headache. Tuesday I'm pretty sure a migraine tried to eat me, so I'm a little afraid its still trying. So my plans for laundry and organization went out the window and I took a nap, sort of. Someone kept asking me if she could get me anything, or play the computer, or go outside, or, or, shhhh mommy is resting. She was sweet though, I'm not complaining. I did manage to finish most of the laundry, and the rest will work out later. Tomorrow I promise a better post.

Working from Home

I started this post months ago, after I read a dooce.com post about her making a video about working from home. I hadn't watched it yet, and honestly, I can't remember if I ever did. Oh, hold on, let me go refresh my memory, so my opinions make sense.

Ok. I'm back.

Considering she works with her husband (or did until the separation), has an actual assistant and I believe she also has child care at least part of the time...it's really more like she has an office in her house. Working from home means something different to me. Obviously she faces the same child/time management issues, at least part of the time, but working FOR someone FROM home is very different. I should make a video. But I'm not going to, because I'm NEVER ALONE.

So, I agree with several of her points and have a few of my own.

First, it's important to set a schedule and stick to it. My schedule starts with getting the oldest ready for school. While she eats breakfast, I take the stupid dogs out. They're cute, so I'm allowed to declare them stupid. Once she's on the bus, I'm at my laptop, working. The younger one gets up later unless its a preschool day (which won't matter next year because woohoo for afternoon preschool).

Second, I think its important to shower/cleanup and get dressed. In something other than yoga pants or pajamas. I typically shower before I get the second kid up, get her up, feed her breakfast and then back to work. I don't shower right now on preschool days. I just don't have the time to get one kid up, on the bus, shower, feed the second one (who is the slowest eater on the planet) and get her to preschool, not on time anyway. So those days...I shower after my nightly exercise instead. I don't love it, but it's what I have to do. Next year she's going to afternoon preschool, so it won't be a problem.

The video recommends a separate space..but that just isn't possible for me. I don't have child care for the preschooler and I can't leave her alone anywhere in the house, so I work at our family desk, and she plays. Both of my kids (nearly 5 years apart) have been great about mommy working during the day and they self entertain really really well. And yes, I turn on the TV sometimes, in the afternoon because she's so great at playing and she's ready for a rest so the TV is on, with something appropriate. LazyTown, Olivia, or Max & Ruby. Hmm I'm not sure how appropriate Max & Ruby is...where are the parents? Anyway...I would love my own space to focus and work, but once the preschooler starts Kindergarten, I'll have that, so for now, this works for us.

An assistant. I'm not even going to address this because I don't think I'll ever make enough to hire my own assistant, since I work for someone else right now. I also don't need one, a nanny or maid, yes, but an assistant for work, no. So I'm sure its necessary if you work for yourself at home and travel a lot and have a lot going on, but for me, not so much.

I also workout after the kids are in bed. I don't have the motivation to do it in the morning (except some rare saturdays when I want my weekend free) so I do it at 830 at night M,T,Th,F,Sat. It works for me.

The other part of working from home are the perks. There are plenty. The refrigerator is RIGHT THERE! It's too close, but also, yay, it's close. I don't spend anything on vending machine food or soda, I have my own. I'm here when the oldest gets home from school, and I'm able to get the youngest to and from preschool. My bosses have been great and the company is very flexible about schedules. I also feel a little bit more pressure to perform and complete work in a timely manner. I keep very close record of what I do and when so that I know I'm delivering what I need to be since no one is hovering over my shoulder. My biggest pet peeve is when people hear that I work from home and assume I eat candy and surf the web all day. I get paid to do actual work, and I work hard at it. Sure, my schedule is flexible, but I am WORKING.

I guess that's it. That was quite a ramble. Whew.

Marriage Advice

So I started out thinking I'd write about divorce since it seems to be going around a lot..not the discussion, just lots of people seem to be heading down that road. I kinda think everyone that gets a divorce should have to tell someone/everyone why they're divorcing. Irreconcilable differences doesn't do it for me. I imagine my parents would say something like... Mom: I drove my car to crazytown and stayed there (with some details about letting her journal run her life and convincing herself of many things that don't warrant bolting from her life). Dad: I didn't take steps to prevent her drive (not that I believe she would have done what he asked to fix her mental issues).  Totally possible I'm biased in this situation.

They're both at fault, perhaps in different ways, but they both have responsibility. Also, what do I know..I wasn't in their marriage. I was just a bystander, and collateral damage when it went kaboom. And I also haven't been through a divorce and I don't anticipate I will, so I'll never have first hand knowledge of what it's like.

So many bloggers I've noticed recently are splitting up. And I'm aware that its completely none of my business...but blogging about it sort of seems like you don't mind if it becomes your readers business. So give us the facts.

---

Maybe because it's none of my business I should talk about marriage and/or weddings instead. I'm attending a bridal shower very soon for the daughter of the pastor that married us. She's a wonderful girl and I've known her since she was around 2yo. Part of the shower includes writing a recipe or a piece of advice for a soon to be married woman. They've not lived together and have only lived in dorms, so it's a true new beginning. I am also a horrible cook. What advice do i give?

Here are my thoughts. And I don't necessarily follow this advice myself, for many reasons, but I still think it's great advice.
1. Be honest. Always. Don't sugar coat anything and then let it grow to anger because you weren't honest.
2. Do not keep a journal unless you're a writer. A journal of grievances a horrible idea for a marriage.
3. Have your own time. You are still individuals and it's important to do the things you still love that don't involve each other.
4. Talk about everything. Everything, and yes, I know sometimes we glaze over and nod off..but do it anyway. Sometimes the only purpose of talking about everything is just so you get to say it, whatever it is.

What advice would you give?

Organize! Go!

I think I might be addicted to purging and organizing. I don't have a lot of time to do it right now, but I do love to sit and daydream about cleaning out closets and donating toys and throwing away all those mcdonalds toys. Pfft they're not toys, they're junk. And I just this second realized I could maybe use BASKETS in my linen closet to make it a less stupid place. Oh it's stupid. See.

Messy triangle shaped linen closet

Top of triangle closet

I saw some baskets when looking through OrgJunkie's 'spring into organization' week features. Delightful Order to be specific. My linen closet is triangular...TRIANGLE SHAPED! WHA?! I know, right? How does one fit large square/rectangle items into a triangular shelf. NOT WELL. Maybe baskets will help. I could roll up towels into the baskets, and use a lower basket on the bottom to hold the sheet sets. It doesn't have to be beautiful, but this makes me feel like I'm the worst housekeeper ever.

see. triangle shelf.

We moved into this house without choosing any of the finishes. We didn't build it ourselves, but it was brand new, so I probably shouldn't complain so much. But who wants weirdly shaped closets? The main floor coat closet is also triangular. It's not a big deal there, because it just holds coats and the vacuum. But still, little weird. I believe the missing corner is where a lot of venting occurs.

After that, I want to tackle the basement storage room. A lot of things in this room are things we need to keep, but it's probably close to 50% that we don't.

I'm trying to craigslist that comforter (Garden Nights King from BB&B) but we could really use a sort and purge in here. The freezer has to stay obviously, but the new bike for the 9yo can go in the garage, some of the toys can probably be donated also. We just don't need Littlest Pet Shop, Dollhouses, Polly Pockets, Barbies, Squinkies, ZhuZhu Pets...need I go on? Oy, so much junk. I need the husbands help to sort it all though, a large part of these things are his, from back when we ran our own servers and he regularly built and rebuilt computers. We don't do that so much anymore, so I'm betting that four drawer thing full of PC parts can just go directly in a dumpster. Shhhh I wouldn't do that without telling him.

Anyway, I'm hoping to make one of my spring goals this year "CLEAN OUT CRAP". It's been really easy to do it in other rooms, and I'm hoping my daily visits to orgjunkie and her organizationally spectacular friends will help inspire me and find new ways to organize and get the most out of our space.

We'll see how it goes :)

April Fools!

I used to think it would be funny to leave a fake positive pregnancy test for my husband on April Fool's day. Perhaps it was funny a few years ago, but since we've decided not to have any more kids and taken steps to prevent it, I don't think we'd find it as funny as much as terrifying. Our kids are getting to the ages that they're a little bit self sufficient, fun to talk to and have their own great little personalities. It's really difficult to imagine starting over. So...fake positive pregnancy test...not so funny anymore. I never actually did it of course, that'd take research and planning and ...work. Not such a fan of those either.

In other sort of related news, I'm super super excited that my sister in law is having a baby. A baby girl even! I'm so very excited about it, it's a little bit ridiculous. I can't wait to see her in about a month and see her little baby belly and throw her the baby shower she deserves. I am at the same time super pleased they decided to have kids (ok, one kid to start) and also super super excited that IT'S NOT ME! WOO! I always wondered if we'd regret not having more or not leaving the option open...but I. DO. NOT. The Hubs doesn't either.

So...I'm pregnant. April Fools!

After I typed that..I felt wrong..somehow like I'm just ASKING for some miraculous conception to spite me and my happiness with my growing children. So here's a little more..to distract the universe from my mockery.

This also starts my commitment to  NaBloPoMo for April 2012..I'm really going to do this, even if I have to schedule posts ahead of time or write something at 11:59pm some nights. I WILL DO THIS. I have a few conceptual posts already saved and waiting for some fleshing. out. So...here we go!

Good planning

So, over the last few days I've found myself trying to think of blog topics. Things I can talk about in April, when I promised to post every day.  I've been starting drafts with notes so I can remember WTH I meant to do with it. I also found a few old drafts that might make sense to use also. I figure if I can plan ahead a little bit, I won't feel like such a failure when I miss a day.

Is that cheating? I'm going to call it GOOD PLANNING.

Seriously? Lame blogging.

I just signed up for NaBloPoMo April. That's National Blog Posting Month..April. It means I'm committed to posting something every day in April. It looks like the prompts will be poem related, so I'll likely ignore that, but I WILL try to post at least something every day. I can do that right. It's only been a month since my last post. Sheesh, I have got to get it in gear.

New Shower Door

The new shower door was just installed. It MAKES the bathroom. It looks so great, with clear views into and out of the shower, no obstructed view because of the stupid curtain. I love it. Have to wait to use it until the morning, but it looks FANTASTIC.

Thanks to Allied Glass for the door and install, great job, very friendly, highly recommended.

A to Z

I copied this from @insidedog because it's a cute idea and an easy way to get a post up. I still want everyone to read and adore my super awesome master bathroom remodel, but we must all move on I suppose.

A to Z

A. Age: 35

B. Bed size: KING and I just got notice that my new comforter shipped. Yay Overstock.

C. Chore that you hate: Grocery shopping and laundry. Both are never ending.

D. Dogs: Two puppies, Molly and Lucy, shih tzus. They're ok.

E. Essential start to your day: My alarm. Without it, the day is crap at 730am.

F. Favorite color: Green.

G. Gold or silver: Both. Depends on the piece, but I like both.

H. Height: 5'6.5".

I. Instruments that you play: I used to play the piano, I suppose I probably still could a little bit if I tried.

J. Job title:Web Developer (ya ya, my title is also Mom)

K. Kids: Sophia age 9, Alexis, age 4.

L. Live: Iowa

M. Mother's name: Karen (but we aren't speaking...) mother-in-law Judy

N. Nicknames: Missy 

O. Overnight hospital stays: Two babies, 2002 and 2007. Tonsilectomy when I was 10. 2010 when Lexi had to be admitted for dehydration, worst thing ever.

P. Pet peeves: When the idiot puppies don't just go do their business and come back. I have a lot of these, I'll look petty if I list them all. So let's pretend I have none.

Q. Quote from a movie: "You done smoked yourself retarded!" Half Baked 

No I am not a pothead, and I think pot is awful. But that line sent me rolling.

R. Right or left handed: Right

S: Siblings: Two brothers 31 and 27, and a sister 30.

T: Travel favorite: Aruba and Maui, very nice, child free vacations.

U. Underwear: Thong. You asked.

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Squash. I don't love peas.

W. What makes you run late: Toddlers that have to poop the moment we need to leave.

X. X-rays you've had: just dental x-rays. No broken bones for me.

Y. Yummy food that you make: Well, generally I don't cook, which is best for everyone, but I think I can make a pretty decent spaghetti if necessary. And I can make nearly anything out of a box .

Z. Zoo animal: Meh, zoos kind of smell and I don't love herding my kids through all those other kids and don't get lost and don't touch that it might be poo and get your face off the glass and gah, let's go home. Tigers.

Master Bathroom: The Reveal

Over the past month-ish we've been working on the master bathroom. From now on, when I say "we" I mean the husband. I did help grout and stain some woodwork, but 99% of the work was done by him. He deserves the credit. The end result is a masterpiece.

Let's start with the before. The bathroom is approximately 5 x 8..not a bad size, but not gigantic. The vanity and toilet were fine and usable, but the shower...the shower was not more than 3x3 (if that!) and one person could barely fit in there comfortably. It was also HELL to clean. I mostly gave up truly cleaning it the last few years. It just wasn't possible. Even though we're the first owners of this house, we didn't build this house, or choose the finishes, so we have to assume the builder went with the cheapest selections. The shower was awful, after Christmas we decided to remodel - which is good, because I was ready to stop showering it in, remodel or not.  The builder also decided to build a cabinet to the left of the shower. Super deep, super not useful (other than to hold a crapload of towels) and otherwise wasted space. We are going to take back that space.

Before: Shower and cabinet

Before: Cabinet and sink

Before: Vanity and light

The floor was linoleum, not bad, but not interesting. After ten (plus) years in this house, we decided to make the bathroom over. First...rip out the shower and cabinet. Then rebuild the area with niches between studs for shampoos and soaps.

Goodbye shower

Hello larger shower with fancy niches

  

Next - durock (cement board) the whole thing.

Durock/ Cement board

And then, because we are doing this thing RIGHT. Waterproofing. Vapor barrier is in place here behind the durock. We also used a TileRedi shower base which was really excellent for us. Tiled right on top of that no pouring cement or leveling, TileRedi is awesome.

Hello dark green waterproofer

And now...time to tile! also, see that cute little light he put in the shower too, so awesome.  He started with the floor, and then did the ceiling (which was NOT his favorite part) and the walls and niches. It all took quite a while, but he pushed and pushed and got it done. It looks awesome.

 

Tiled shower with a bit of a grout haze

 Then it was time for the rest of the bathroom. Fixtures, and a new toilet and new base cabinet and vanity top. I stained the medicine cabinet because the options to match the base were not optimal for what we need to store, and it looks good. I'm also working on staining the window in the bathroom and its casing. We took down the mini blind and frosted the bottom half of the window, which brings in light and doesn't leave a blind that just gets caked with dust and shower steam.

Hello Eljer Titan 4 Tall Round toilet

Beautiful Chelsea cabinet by Magickwood

Dark walnut stained medicine cabinet and new light fixture

I turned the light fixture upside down. I didn't want the light shining down on top of the cabinet so pointing it up seemed to work. there is plenty of light in the bathroom, especially with the extra shower light. And the shower light is connected to the fan in the bathroom, so it makes it easy to keep the steam down and therefore the mold potential.

The view from the master bedroom

We just went out to Allied Glass today to look at their doors so we shouldn't have to deal with the lame curtain and rod for much longer. I'll post another picture when the new door is in place. My shower this morning was awesome, I didn't want to get out.

UPDATE: The shower door was installed this morning (Feb 27) and it looks FANTASTIC.

Darn. They grow up.

Remember when you were in school, and time dragged on and on. And then in high school, and you thought you'd never be done and never escape the rules and study. It seemed to take forever for me, and I didn't mind school. I wasn't in any hurry for it to be over really. But it dragged on.

Why is it that the time with my children isn't dragging on as well? How did I get to already have a third grader? She's halfway through the year, we're almost into fourth grade...and then middle school..and wtf slow down! And the little one..preschool this year and next and then she's into it also. Why is it going so fast when I'm not the one in school.

Damn. They grow up. And so fast is not even accurate..they grow up at the speed of a blink. In the blink of an eye. Before you know it. Right in front of you. All the clichés.

Out back

Last weekend we were trying to decide where to take the girls for dinner. We'd like to go to restaurants, but unless there's a kid menu and/or chicken in kid form, it's not a very safe bet. The husband mentioned he'd like to go to Outback and the 4yo heard him. Daddy, you can't eat out back!

Oh the things the children say.

In other good news, the master shower looks fantastic. I have pictures to show and such but I want to wait until the whole room is complete before I write it up with pictures. The shower was the biggest part, he tore out the old one and put in a new pan, new plumbing and tiled it up beautifully. There are niches for our shampoos and two showerheads. TWO showerheads. And enough room to turn around, do a dance AND shave my legs. I can't wait to use it. First we need to rip out the vanity, toilet, paint the walls, tile the floor, and install the new vanity and cabinet and pick out a toilet. THEN I'll have the whole story to tell. It's going to be awesome, though, I just know it.

Journal Schmournal

I tore out the pages of my journal a few days ago. I thought I would just keep paper and pen nearby  at all times, so I could write down the genius that flows from my mind. It turns out it's not genius. It's drivel. It's a record of my complaining sorry self. And I don't want to look back at that ever and be disgusted with myself. So I tore out the pages. The only thing I commit to writing down now are actual genius ideas that might make me a pile of cash. Highly unlikely to happen, so it'll be paper for the children soon I'm sure.


Joy Dare: Day 31
A gift found on paper, in a person, in a picture

on paper: A paycheck that covered the house payment and left some for us, thanks to back pay.

in a person: My husband. While grouting the tile with him, we had some laughs. That's my favorite part of marriage. The laughing.

in a picture: the 4yo brings home her drawings every tues/thurs from preschool. She's always so proud, but at the same time she wants to put them in the 'special folder' so i don't throw them away.  I will one day (after I photograph them for a photo memory book)

Joy Dare: Day 30

Three old things seen new.

1. The shower! The old master bathroom shower has been removed and replaced with a beautiful tile shower. We finished grouting last night and it looks fantastic. Cannot wait to finish the rest.

2. Toys. The girls don't realize that they rotate their toys, but they do. They "lose" them sometimes in their own rooms or in the basement and then they rediscover them later and it's like brand new toys. It's fun to watch, although I do still wish we could just clean out piles of them. Someday.

3. the computer. Recently the computer has had problems with flash player, so we rebuilt it and I didn't re-install. So the girls haven't been able to play on the computer for some months now. I recently reinstalled the player, figuring at least they could play awhile before it started crashing the machine again. They're thrilled.

Joy Dare: Day 29

a song heard, a soft word, where you saw light

song: Rolling in the Deep is probably going to be my favorite song for quite awhile. Her voice and range is so wonderful. And its alto-ish, so I can sing along.

word: lexi and sophie..both saying 'i love you mommy' after i tuck them in for bed.

light: in the new bathroom. A light in the shower, seemingly unnecessary but so very nice and effective when installed.

Joy Dare: Day 28

Three graces found in your friends

1. My friend Jen is lighthearted and sincere. A true interested friend. I really need to call her soon and see that baby that's not a baby anymore.

2. My friend Lisa is fun and honest (like me) and we get along very very well.

3. My friend Stacy is smart and insightful and honest. She's a teacher, molding young minds and a grad student, expanding her own mind.

My friends, although few, are awesome.

Joy Dare: Day 27

Three gifts that might never have been

1. My house - we could have stayed in the smaller house for awhile, but I love this place. we've been here ten years now.
2. My new/remodeled bathroom (starting to look really really good)
3. My new nephew or neice - my sister in law is pregnant and I honestly thought they would never have kids, So i'm super excited about this one.

Joy Dare: Day 26

For the record, I wrote this post Wednesday. I tried to use the iPad to publish it last night and instead it was empty. Thanks Apple. The one time I'm ahead of my game and Apple screws me.

A gift before 9am, a gift before noon, a gift after dark
1. Before 9 am on Tues/Thurs, I get the 4yo up and ready for preschool. Normal days she sleeps until 9, but on preschool days she gets up and gets dressed and we have breakfast together and then read a couple library books after she's brushed hair and teeth. She's getting so big, it's such a fun time.

2. Before noon...in the same token as above...when the 4yo is in preschool and the 9yo at school, I have two hours to myself. To work, uninterrupted, blissful quiet and concentration. It's heaven.

3. Gears of War 3. I love this game, some might even say I'm addicted. I cannot play enough horde mode. I take care of my kids first, then exercise, and put the kids to bed. So after dark, after the kids are in bed, I start up the xbox and shoot enemies to my hearts content. I do so love this game.

Joy Dare: Day 25

I'm really tempted to just do all the rest of these joy dares right now, so I won't miss any the rest of the month and so I can be done with it already.

One grace Borrowed, one grace Found, one grace Inherited

Borrowed: I borrow books from the library regularly. I LOVE the library. I am a reading fiend and my oldest is turning out to be quite a reader as well, which I am so very pleased about. The youngest also loves having books read to her and i'm guessing will be a reader as well in time.

Found: I don't really know on this one. I haven't found anything in a long time. Maybe I found my strengths in motherhood, or my strengths at work..and even finding my weaknesses could be considered a grace.

Inherited: Well, I guess I have inherited this pair of earrings from the husbands grandmother. She's still alive and very well, but she was cleaning out her jewelry and while it's sort of a morbid activity, I took a pair of earrings that I really like. And I'm glad to be able to wear them while she's still alive (and will be for awhile, in spite of her 'if i'm still around' regular comments) and will continue to wear them in her memory when she leaves us.

Joy Dare: Day 24

Honestly, I give up on trying to do these regularly. I'll just do it when I get to it..and I'll be grateful when Jan. is over and it ends.

Three Things Blue

1. The accent color I intend to use in my soon to be remodeled master bathroom. The husband has been working really hard on it, and started cutting tile last night. The shower is going to be awesome. Twice as wide as before, clean, two shower heads, niches for our shampoos. So awesome. We'll also have a new vanity and sink and I think blue will be the perfect accent color to the brown tones of the rest of everything. I'll post about it, with pictures, when it's all done.
2. The sky. Even if the sun isn't out, I enjoy seeing the blue sky occasionally during the winter. Yesterday, not today.
3. Hmm. The ink in my pen is blue. I'm online all the time, my job is online, my friends, everything is online. But I still take notes on paper sometimes. I blame my children for my inability to remember things better so I make notes and keep written reminders of things. My favorite pen has blue ink. So..there.

Joy Dare: Day 23

3 gifts found in Christ

1. Eternal Life. John 3:16. Such a gimme for this list, but such an important one. Something I'm hoping my girls will grow to see the importance of.
2. Forgiveness? That feels hypocritical, but I think I've forgiven people, I just can't forget.
3. The perfect mate. It's pretty clear the husband is my perfect match, no matter what we both do to irritate each other. We're in sync 99% of the time and it's peaceful and blissful.

The master bathroom is getting to a point where I'm going to actually have to choose a paint color. Eeek!

Joy Dare Catch up

Day 21: one thing in the sky, one thing from your memory, one thing that's ugly beautiful.

1. The sunshine. It's not here right now, but on the days it does show up in the winter, it's wonderful.
2. Sledding with my siblings, and roller skating, and ice skating outside, on a lake, not in a fancy schmancy rink.
3. ugly beautiful? I don't know...the 4yo tush when she asks me to wipe her poo :)

Day 22: one grace wrinkled, one grace smoothed, one grace unfolded
1. My mother in law, although she's really not that wrinkled and if she read blogs, she'd not appreciate this much probably. But I do so love her so very much. She's my stand in.
2. My chin..after this zip decided to leave? Seems superficial.
3. The new towels I'm planning to put in the almost remodeled master bathroom.

I don't know what I was doing to prevent these this weekend. I spent most of the weekend grateful that my girls were playing so well together, even though they were trapped inside all weekend. And I was able to read several books, which is always awesome. Plus a trip to the library where they both found books they also love to read, that's probably my very favorite thing right now. I want them both to grow up loving books and reading as often as they can.

Joy Dare: Day 20

Three gifts you saw only when you got close up.

1. The scar on the 4yo's forehead is healing really nicely.  Can't even see it very well, even up close.
2. Dog kisses. If you get close, they'll kiss ya.
3. I don't know. Some of these are strange.

Joy Dare: Day 19

a grace in the kitchen, a grace in the weather, a grace that might never have been

kitchen: The Keurig single serve coffee maker. I love that thing, and I hate coffee. But there is a Green Mountain Naturals Hot Apple Cider k-cup that I LOVE. I have a serious addiction to it. It's been great for the husband to just make a travel mug's worth of coffee to take with him to work also, very handy.

weather: well...I don't love this bitter cold, but i'm used to it, so I suppose the grace is that I'm not really complainy about it. I wish it wouldn't last as long or be as cold, of course, but I don't waste time or energy complaining about it. I just bundle up to take the puppies out, and make sure my girls are bundled for school and have what they need to stay warm. And then I come back inside, with that hot cider and a warm blanket and all is well.

Might never have been: Hmmm I don't know about this one. The puppies are pretty cute, and I wasn't sure we'd do that, but I don't know if that counts. My job maybe. I turned down this position at first, I was afraid to work at home and that it wouldn't be stable or work out. Then I found the courage...and it's been the best thing ever. I work from home, doing what I really do love doing and getting adult conversation (ok it's online mostly, but it's still converations), and I'm home for the girls when they are home from school or the 4yo since she's not in school. It is the best of both worlds.

Joy Dare: Day 18

3 gifts from God's Word

This Joy dare is starting to make me feel bad about myself.

I don't know how to do this one. I did enjoy last night, working with the 9yo on her Awana sections, helping her find and read some verses and answer questions. I feel like a hypocrite. It's so important to me that she (both of them really) become believers, and she loves Awanas, but I know I'm not doing enough. And we're not going to church..which would help...blargh. I do and don't want to find a solution.

Joy Dare: day 17

One gift that made you laugh, one gift that made you pray, one gift that made you quiet

1. my 4yo makes me laugh, regularly. she is a gift.
2. my 9yo, turning 10 in the fall, the double digits, the pre-teens, the THINGS it means. PRAY HARD.
3. My inability to regularly post these joy dares...makes me quiet.

Joy Dare: Day 16

Three ways you witnessed happiness today

1. The 9yo loving the puppies before she headed out to the bus and school.
2. The 4yo 'dressing up' by wrapping her blanket as a skirt around herself and using a chip clip to secure it.
3. Finishing 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' book..and having book 2 and 3 already in hand :)

I am awful at regular posting. The end.

Joy Dare: Days 14 and 15

Wow. I told myself each weekend day that I couldn't forget to do the posts. Even if it was quick and simple...don't miss it. And yet. Huh.

Day 14: Three ways you glimpsed the startling Grace of God
1. I really don't know how to answer this one. I guess Saturday I was grumpy and my husband took a simple step to pull me out of it. I'm very grateful for him.
2. My kids didn't drive me completely insane this weekend, and the oldest was off thurs-sunday so she had every reason to go stir crazy.
3. I'm starting to consider solutions for our lack of church attendance. Is that the Grace of God?

Day 15: one thing you wore, one thing you gave away, one thing you shared
1. I wore a new tank and zip jacket that I bought on clearance for 4.95. The tank I got 20% off of. I do love a sale. And the shopping gave me some me time that I clearly needed.
2. I have a little pile going to give away actually. Pajamas that no longer fit the 4yo and jeans that I just hate myself in, that are perfectly decent so I can give them away.
3. I think I've shared my love of reading with my girls. The oldest loves chapter books..I seriously have to consider getting some sort of bookshelf in her room somehow, and the youngest loves our weekly trip to the library to swap out the week's books. We read one or two before she goes to preschool a couple times a week and I think she loves that.

I'm not even going to lie and pretend I'll try to do better at this. It'll be easier during the week, because I'm in front of my computer, but weekends...I just can't make any promises.

Joy Dare: Day 13

3 Sounds you hear

1 - the puppies, wrestling. Each with a little growl as they take turns trying to bit each others feet. It's a ridiculous game, and eventually the small one gets riled and tries to hump the other. Even though they're fixed..and both girls. Go figure.

2 - Earlier today I heard my girls dancing and singing upstairs to the kidz bop tunes on the 9yo's iPod. So cute and fun to hear.

3 - The silent 5pm alarm that says i can stop working for the day. for the weekend. Hooray for the weekend.

At some point in the near future I'll also have some posts of our new master bathroom. The husband has been working on it slowly but surely. Ripping out the old awful shower and extra waste of space cabinet and we've picked out tile, and a new cabinet and vanity and the shower pan came earlier this week.  The finished product is going to be spectacular.

Joy Dare: Day 12

Something above you, something below you, something beside you

Above me: The roof over my head. It's freezing outside today, and blowing snow everywhere. It's the first real snow this winter and while I'm not glad to see it I am glad it waited so long to show up. And I'm grateful for the roof over our heads. And for my husband's and my jobs that keep the roof in place.

Below me: Hmmm..how about my treadmill, which is in the basement. I love that thing. Now only if my knee would start to love it again and we could all be happy together again.

Something beside me: A few minutes ago, the 4yo and I were on the floor, under a blanket, hovering over the heater vent. I love to trap the heat in the blanket and really warm up for a bit. So toasty. And having a cute companion wasn't so bad either.

Today has been a pretty good day. I've accomplished some things at work and preschool still happened in spite of the ridiculous snow and wind. No school for the 9yo because of "professional learning" days, so these won't be snow days to make up later either. All around, not a bad day.

Joy Dare: Day 11

Wow. I missed a day. Again. I am really awful at this.  This one is also difficult, right now there are really only brown and white things outside. It finally snowed last night, and everything else is dead.

Three yellow things that strike you as fresh mercy:

1 - My big yellow chair in my living room. I've loved it since I set eyes on it over ten years ago. Still love it. Oversized, comfortable, positioned right in front of the fireplace. I think maybe I'll sit there and read tonight.

2 - Legal pads. I love to make notes about things, and I keep a bunch of legal pads to do so for work, and anything else I want to make a note of. I don't keep any of them, it's just in-the-moment notes.

3 - The sunshine, when it makes an appearance in the winter. It casts a warm line on the floor and the puppies love to lay in it. I love to stand in it and soak up the warm.

I will try to do this better.

Joy Dare Day 10

A gift that's sour, a gift that's sweet, a gift that's just right

Sour: my attitude, which is not good lately.

Sweet: the leftover chocolate kiss cookie that the 4yo didn't have room for

Just right: the sweet silent chime of the clock turning to bedtime o'clock

This is difficult.

Joy Dare: Day 1-9

Day 1: 3 things about myself I am grateful for
-my adaptability
-my smarts (whatever kind, I think I'm smart)
-my patience
that was harder than i thought.
Day 2: a gift outside, inside, on a plate
-outside: the weather this winter so far has been excellent, no snow or ice and 60 degrees in January is so rare
-inside: my cabinet, from my husband for Christmas, love it so much
-on a plate: hmm, a gift on a plate? teacups from my grandma-in-law
Day 3:3 lines you overheard that were graces
-i'm not sure i can do this one, I don't leave the house most days, so I don't overhear too many things outside my children's conversations.
-A few days ago, when we figured out how to get a friend to come to Awana with Sophia..I suggested her best friend from school if it could be worked out. She said 'that would be so cool, with a best friend!'. So sweet.
-Lexi, the 4yo, saying she loves both daddy and mommy (typically she chooses just one per day)
-the preschoolers running out of the school so excited and happy yelling 'mommy!' or 'grandma!' to their picker uppers, so sweet
Day 4:one gift old, new, & blue
-old: my diamond and ruby earrings, they never leave my ears, valentine's gifts (and some other holiday) from years ago
-new: pink VS robe, so comfy and warm after a workout and shower
-blue:my dishware, technically it has more than just blue in it..but it was a gift from the in-laws a few years ago and I love it
Day 5: something you're reading, you're making, you're seeing
-reading: So many, I love to read. 8th confession by James Patterson, Divergent is up next, then The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
-making:this list, my journals
-seeing: my own preschooler, going into school on her own, so happy to be there, and running out even happier
Day 6:one thing in your bag, your fridge, your heart
bag: local library card
fridge: Sunny Delight, the kids and I love it
heart: that's what this list is supposed to touch, right? open it, soften it perhaps? I'm grateful for the few good friends I have.
Day 7: 3 graces from people you love
-Judy: she shares my love of puzzles and books, and her son of course, and my children (her grandchildren)
-Lisa: we struggle with similar things, our children, exercise, work stresses, it bonds us
-Brian: we're in sync most of the time, with our goals and plans for ourselves and our children and futures, and we both LOVE video games
Day 8: light that caught you, a reflection that surprised you, a shadow that fell lovely
-light: The sun this morning, on the way to preschool. So bright, reminding me of how awesome this winter weather has been
-reflection: my own? Exercise and fitness and healthy eating is an obstacle for me, but I'm succeeding, and my own reflection shows me that
-shadow: I don't know. The shadow is still there, but there is also a beautiful baby boy there as well (I assume he's perfect, I haven't met him)
Day 9: a gift in your hand, a gift you walked by, a gift you sat with
-hand: my new car? our new remodeled bathroom (in progress), in my hand how? :)
-walked by: see above - my new cabinet. I walk by it all the time, throughout the day, and I run my fingers along it, because I love it. The style, coloring, functionality and because he drove 3 hours to pick it up for me.
-sat with: every day i sit at this desk and see the smiling faces of my children in pictures, and the rest of my family in pictures. I sit with them every day.

Ok..now I'm caught up. That was kinda hard, obviously I'm a better complainer. But I can do this.

Blogular Motivation

I am having some trouble blogging on my own. As much as I tell myself I want to write, and sometimes I do write, with a pen, when I'm grumpy and need to complain. Those complaints - are trivial, stupid even, and I just need to write them down to get them out. So I don't turn them into grudges or fights that are so very unnecessary. So..to blog...and to bolster NOT building grudges...I think I need motivation. Reading Oh Dawn... this morning, she's taken on this Joy Dare thing. I find myself copying her a lot lately.  I hope that's ok. It sounded interesting, and I think I might give this a try. Finding 1000 joys in 2012. Here is January's instructions. Next post: Joy Dare days 1-10 :) What? I gotta catch up!

The New Year Recap: 2011

Apparently this is a thing bloggers do regularly. Like Sundry and a bunch of others. I do nothing regularly which is obvious given my last post and timeline of all my posts.  I am inconsistent. So whatever, here.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Well, I checked my toddler into the hospital for dehydration and witnessed her IV placement. Never before and never again.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't generally believe in resolutions. It's just something that I end up failing at every year, over and over, which is no way to live every year. I can fail at shit all by myself, I don't need a list. So...since I had none, I didn't fail at them, right? Yes! Truthfully early in the year 2011 I was tired of my fat self and decided to do something about it. I've been running since Jan 2011 and still going at it. So if you MUST insist on a real answer for this one...fine. I did that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Sort of. My sister had a baby boy. We should be close, but we're not because I don't approve of some of the choices she made and I don't know how to pretend that I do. So. Hello impasse.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I don't think so.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. I did fantasize about all kinds of foreign vacations though. Does that count?

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More cash? Who doesn't want more cash? Besides that baby in the Capital One commercials. Better control of my time, so I can properly support my children in their education and also still have lots of fun.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Monday, February 28. We put our dog to sleep that day. Worst day ever.
Friday, March 4. Same week as above, checked toddler into hospital for dehydration.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I don't think there is one. Registering the toddler for preschool and then getting her there on time, that's big. Also figuring out that she's playing me when I drop her off and adjusting the routine so she's a much happier preschooler now.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not realizing my toddler was dehydrated. After so many days of vomit and poop..I should have known better. You can cut me some slack because I put down the dog and bought a car that same week..but I don't deserve it. No parent should be that distracted. Huge parenting fail.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not outside of the regular thanks-to-the-stupid-children illnesses. What is it about preschool that makes parents bring the snot covered kids anyway?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Well. I LOVE this new cabinet the husband bought me for Christmas. Since its OUR money...it counts, right?

Also, most of the time, I'm glad we bought these guys too.

I also bought sort of a lot of clothes that I love this year too. A ruffly cardigan that I wear over a black tank OR a sequin tank. I bought Jeggings and Leggings if you can believe that and I love them all.  I think probably I am more in love with the fact that I look good in them. See above for former fat self reference.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Edward Jones apparently. And the mortgage. We have a 15 year, and we'll pay it off in about 5 years, so even though the payment is high, we'll be done really soon. If the economy would pick up..that'd be excellent. I'd worry less about making that.

13. What did you get really excited about?
The kid going to preschool. These two hours twice a week, by myself, to work and focus. Awesome.

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Adele's Rolling in the Deep. I heard it first when one of the contestants on The Voice sang it and had to look it up. Also really like Price Tag by Jessie J. At the same time, Kidz Bop ruins all these songs, so 2011 reminds me of that also.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

-happier or sadder?  probably the same. hard to pin down just one for a whole year
-thinner or fatter?  definitely thinner and I will keep it that way, hello salad for lunch.
-richer or poorer? I think probably the same, or richer depending on how you look at it.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Playing games with the kids, or playing outside with the kids. We were outside a lot and both girls love riding their bikes now, so perhaps this spring we'll get to do more of that. Maybe more times out with the husband as well.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Hollered at my kids. Lost my shit when I just couldn't take it anymore.

18. How did you spend Christmas?
With my in-laws, which was awesome. We each took vacation days which ended up in all of us having eleven - yes 11 - days off in a row. It was excellent.

19. What was your favorite TV program?
I think Grey's Anatomy...but Rizzoli & Isles, The Closer and Covert Affairs are very close seconds...

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I loved the Hunger Games series and I signed up for GoodReads so I can get some good recommendations. We also rediscovered the local library this year, which has been awesome.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Toby Keith "Red Solo Cup"
Anything Lady Antebellum
Adele "Rolling in the Deep"
still love Kelly Clarkson
The Band Perry

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
Date Night.
Crazy, Stupid, Love (Spoiler: I did NOT figure out that Emma Stone was Steve Carrell's daughter in the movie until it hit me in the face)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn (shut up)

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35 and I don't remember what I did. We didn't do anything super special.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the lottery? Being satisfied is up to each of us I think..so I don't think I like this question.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Trendy. Although this is sort of a stupid question.

26. What kept you sane?
Books and my DVR. And during the summer, the in-laws when they came to take the children camping.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Pay attention. Nothing is more important than the health of your children. Just pay attention.

Happy new year everyone.